“Why do you need a mentor? Can’t you make your own decisions?” Ouch! These words from a friend felt like a personal attack, as if I were some dumb bunny. It seemed natural to learn from women who had gone before me. After all, I had been learning from a faithful mother for years. I had watched her make hard decisions and rely on faith to sustain. I was most certainly not some dumb bunny who couldn’t make her own decisions! (insert a defensive attitude that began to develop in me….) I treaded lightly with the conversation.
Imagine that you desired to be a great photographer. Ideally, you would sit under a mentor who excelled in this talent. You would take notes. You would study and emulate technique. In the process, you would develop your own style until you set out on your own journey of being a photographer. And, as you traveled you would then invest time into those coming up behind you, passing along the same wealth of information you received in your younger years as an aspiring photographer.
The process to a healthy Christ-like daily walk should not be any different.
I will admit that reading a book is easier. It is safer. It doesn’t actually require me to be vulnerable before someone else. I don’t have to open up my heart and my messy life to be witnessed. I don’t have to risk much to grow spiritually. (Although, I doubt it is possible to grow well without risk, aka: sacrifice.) However, the Christian life is not meant to be lived in isolation, it is meant to be honestly lived out in fellowship with God and others.
Learning from a faithful mother seems natural, but as an adult, choosing to be teachable requires me to be humble. Titus 2:3-5 reveals a beautiful picture of this kind of relationship between an older godly woman and a younger godly woman growing in her Christian walk. It states, “Older women likewise, are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”
When the opportunity arises to step back and learn from someone who has gone before me, I choose to seize the moment! I must, because in doing so, I am honoring the word of God. The assumption that you must choose between making your own decisions or seeking wise counsel is simply not true. Asking a mentor into your life says that seeking wisdom is worth the effort needed to live authentically in fellowship with another woman. Walking the road alone and ignoring help from others is something a “dumb bunny” might do. 😉
Posted by Melissa J. Carruthers
Mom-Up 
DJ~ I will admit that approaching an older woman to mentor you can be a bit intimidating. However, when you understand the true value in this kind of relationship, then you really can’t let that stand in your way! I look for older women who I see living life to please God rather than man and I pray about how God may cross our paths. If there is any opportunity to sit under her or alongside her, I join in! Sometimes you have to be bold and just ask for her time! A sincere older woman will be happy to come alongside you and strengthen you in your faith. Having a teachable spirit is key! God will work and He will bless your humble faithfulness to learn from those who have gone before you 🙂 Melissa
Isn’t it great that God gives us the resources in His Word to deliver us from being “dumb bunnies!” Over the years, I have sought out wise women, those who open their mouths in wisdom and whose words are a fountain of kindness; they sharpen me. What is amazing is that wise women, no matter their age, are teachable. I have never met a wise woman who did not understand that, “He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; He who keeps understanding will find good” (Prov. 19:8). Thanks for your model of teachability!
Thanks, Melissa! So how do you find a mentor, anyway? Is there some sort of “mentor dating service” out there or do you just find someone older? How does this work?